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My review of Justice League

So, if you read my review of BvS: Dawn of Justice, and you follow me on FB and Twitter, you're likely surprised I even saw this movie. Me too. But, it just so happens an opportunity fell into my lap and so I decided to check it out.

No, this isn't at all the JL I'd hoped for, but it's what we got.

First, as I did with BvS I'll jump right in and say IT ISN'T TERRIBLE!!!!!!! (unlike BvS)

Ok, Now, let's rate it:
Overall, it's between a 6ish and 7, depending on what you think are the pros and cons, which we'll get to. (Again, I rated BvS a 3.5 to 5, so much improvement)

The plot is kinda straight forward and so I won't really much comment, though, the gathering of the team was weak. To be fair, really, the first half of the movie was bad to not very good—it was really  simple, worse than childlike in it's reasoning: "Hey guys, lets make a team to save the world" and so, we'll cover each teammate in turn because that took up about half of the whole film.

YES!!!! Spoilers are coming!!!! 

So, let's get to the tough stuff.

Here's the Baddie, Steppenwolf:

So, this is Darkseid's Uncle, but you don't.
He's just a big heavy hitter that'll be fun for the JL to try their powers out on as a team.
Why they went from Man to Monster/Goat thing, I've no idea.
Wish it was an actor mixed in there somehow, instead of straight CGI (not every big baddie has to be like HULK, I mean, in LOTR they made the hobbits seem small compared to people, so....)

But, he is big and he tough and he can take and give a beating.
That's really all that's important about him as far as the movie goes.
I mean, he's there to plan Darkseid's invasion, but you barely get to know this classic DC character, so what's the point of even bringing up Darkseid yet, right?

So, back to the JL:
The first team member Batman goes after is AQUAMAN:

Above is what we were teased.
Remind you of anything? 

So, I was good with his look.
Even without the harpoon hand (cause maybe that'd come later?)

But then we got this:

Yeah, not a fan of the fish-scale armor. I'm just not. 
The image of him swimming in this, to me, is hilarious. And yes I know that the orig Aquaman had orange and green scales, but justification thru bad history doesn't make it any better for me.

Never mind though, cause this is actual mostly what we got: 

And I get it. Lots of meaty eye candy. I'm cool with that, but.... other than this, he really wasn't even involved in much of the story. So, let's go a little into detail here.

So, Bruce Wayne—not Batman, not Wonder Woman (who would make way more sense given the later historical context between Atlantis and Themiscrya)—roles up without the cowl, in daylight, announcing he knows all about Arthur to the people he's feeding and protecting and helping.

Now, I'm not saying this little village in the middle of nowhere might just up and use that info against Bruce, but ya know, that's the sort thing Batman is always thinking about: Ya know, protecting his secret identity....except, not in the DCU. 
EVERYONE ends up knowing WHO HE IS
*Shakes head*

AND then Arthur, when faced with the idea of a coming threat—ya know, the kindof maybe Atlantis has dealt with before......not to mention the revelation that Bruce Wayne is The Batman and he's in fear of some kinda threat....WHAT DOES HE DO? He takes off his shirt, slips into the water *as seen above* waits a min so the audience can really really really take it in, metaphorically gives Bruce the middle finger and BLASTS OFF through the water!

Now, seeing the first time he blasts through water was kinda cool, but later it's almost more like Aquaman doesn't so much swim, as flys through the a torpedo that can change direction and never really uses his arms or legs for propulsion. 
Kinda silly. He didn't even do that Dolphin Kick thing?

So from there, we get a few more insertions of Viking Aquaman with his shirt off, slow motion, rock music, lots of water spraying everywhere....but at least he's saving people. Right? So that's kinda good.

But then later the Throne is attacked (this is further in the movie, but I'll cover it now)

Atlantis looks more like the kingdom in Little Mermaid than a bad-ass sunken city hidden at the bottom of the ocean, filled with strange and other-wordly technology *as it is in the comics and animated shows.



Nevertheless, when Steppenwolf shows up, they fight and Aquaman kinda gets his butt kicked, which, well, is a bit silly given his foe shouldn't be nearly as good as he at underwater combat, right? But Aquaman has got to lose in the long-rung, so w/e.

Anyway, after the battle, and this was silly, Mera—

 Again, not a fan of the costume. 
Would you like to swim in that thing? 
 (This is one of her better looks)

—creates a giant bubble (she can do lots of water magic, but isn't very useful in this scene fighting Darkseid's henchmen, ya, I know, kinda weak?) for her and Aquaman to talk in. Cause, I don't know, they can only chat thru air?
They don't have any other means of communication?
No telepathy?
No Atlantian language developed to be spoken UNDERWATER?
It's really stupid.

During this time, they basically tell the audience the big points about their background and then Aquaman dips out to get his gear, which he then appears in later wielding his Trident and joins the rest of our heroes.

From that point on, he's basically a brute. That's it. The Aquaman.  Meh? (too bad)

Next is FLASH

Sorry, not this one.
This is the good one.
This is who we got:

Sorry, it looks like a Flash Fanboy went crazy on a speed-bike suit.
Why did it have to look like armor to be "realistic" ? It's Comics. It's SciFi.
No fantasy/scifi fabric we could've used? No distortion of reality, he's got to actually look like you could drop him from space and he'd survive re-entry into the atmosphere?

Nevertheless, the actor did a fine job with what he was given. 
Barry was EXTRA FUNNY and that's ok, but plenty of his humor was used to cover up bad moments within the story.  And aside from just being there, well, we got alot of Blue/White CGI fire and blur....which makes me wonder if they've ever seen a flash comic or any of the animated series: Cause, the lightning and fire and blur should be YELLOW OR RED OR ORANGE>>>> Ya know, WARM COLORS?
Anyway, again, like Aquaman, he's just another member of the team that Bruce Wayne (NOT BATMAN) recruits to go and save the world. *Yes, I again have the same issue with Bruce Wayne one again revealing his secret identity. 
Also, we again skip the Star Labs. Skip the fact Cyborg's dad works/worked for Star Labs.
We get a moment between Barry and his dad, twice, but that doesn't really never mind.

Moving on, to the character that most surprised me, Cyborg:

A tragic event and a father without options forced alien tec to save Victor Stone's life and create Cyborg. His involvement in the plot seemed the most organic, even if not great. At the same time that Bruce Wayne is tracking down all those SUPERS Lex (won't talk about how terrible that actor/character was) had dirt on, Cyborg counter-hacks/tracks back Bruce's searches and discovers that he's The Batman....
Kinda cool. :)

Cyborg then reaches out and Wonder Woman intervenes, and yet the still reluctant hero, fearing maybe he's more alien-tec/monster than man, chooses not yet to get involved. Of course, something pushes our hero into action—the abduction of his father. Cyborg then reaches back out to the group just in time to realize there's big things at work and this of course all bleeds into the greater mission and formation of the team. 
Overall, I liked the look and I liked the actor. 
I wish it was maybe less CGI and more actual armor and suit. Practical FX would've gone along way to making this character feel more real (think the actually built Iron Man suit: helps alot to make you buy into it) *I hope they do more of that in the upcoming movies. 

Next up and still one of the best Characters DCU has yet to offer, Wonder Woman:

For all intents and purposes, she's pretty great. 
However, there's still some lines in the movie I didn't like that were written for her—but at this point I can't remember. Also, can she get dirty, have her armor damaged or bleed some? She's a badass warrior. Her hair and makeup don't always have to be perfect, and that's kinda some of the best things about her. :)

*Side note. I hated the whole cut-scene where the Amazons were all laid waist to by Steppenwolf, not THAT it happened, mostly HOW it happened.
*Also, too much of that scene (LIGHT THE BEACONS) and the flashback history lesson later finally given to Bruce about Stepphenwolf's first arrival on Earth—was like a total re-write/heavily inspired by, Lord of The Rings. 

JL: Atlantians + Amazons + Men, with the help of some Old Gods and One Green Lantern, fight off Stepphenwolf from joining all three Mother Boxes.
LOTR: Elves + NĂºmenĂ³reans + Men, with the help of other heroes, fight of Sauron from keeping The One Ring to Rule Them All.

It was terrible. So bad. Called into question issues with Aquaman's story, plot (as it relates to this actual movie) and Wonder Woman's own actions and character during this movie. Lots of things that should've been known/addressed early on, which would've affected both character's motivation......

Keeping the train moving, let's get to the Leader of this Rag Tag Bunch....if you were expecting Superman, you'd be wrong:

Bruce, through no concern for his secret identity, has assembled this team and then goes forth with them to battle the forces from another world set on destruction and invasion. 

I like Ben, but this Batman isn't very good—though the dialogue in this is better than BvS, but that's not saying much. He was a little funnier than he should've been, because Batman doesn't crack jokes....What usually happened, was someone funny cracks a joke and it's Batman's stern, creepy, dark or w/e response that makes it funny.

Ok, enough about how the character wasn't great.
The action was good. So, that's a plus. 
And there's a scene where Bruce totally rips into Diana for staying out human affairs for decades, which was good.

But I hated the Batman Tactical suit, also, hated that one video of Batman "dropping down and striking a super hero pose" which the internet went nuts over. *See the last video above, the second scene where Batman lands, and rises before the professor.....THAT's How It's Done; in JL, he's more Nite Owl from Watchmen than Batman (Yeah, fuck you Snyder, we all know what you did there)


Yeah, they might as well be the same character portrayal.  

Sorry, I'll take THIS!
Cloaked. Form hidden in darkness. All Black. Ya know, like a Ninja.

And The Batman Carrier, oh, I'm sorry...the FLYING FOX was, well stupid. 

He doesn't need a Troop Transport. *I mean, unless you want to sell more Toys?
Bring the Batwing, not the mobile, Everyone can Fly or Run Super Fast, and maybe one can ride bitch, maybe have it so the Bat-bike can be apart of the Batwing....would it have been awesome to see Wonder Woman or Aquaman riding around killing Parademons on motorcycle? Yeah, I think so too.
Or, could've had a great Scene where Aquaman attacked from the Ocean using some bad-ass Atlantis-Ocean Monsters :) and you could've done the same overthetop fight using the Batwing instead of the car, in the sky, instead of the streets and it would've made more sense, but you wanted to get them all lined up, in a row for the movie, cause, ya, they need a Heroic Pose for the poster.
Nah, not a good move.

********We won't mention how Martha loses her Home, only so Bruce can later buy it back at the end of the movie—I mean, how did the World's Greatest Detective overlook MARRTTHHHAAAAA losing her home in the first place, we'll never know? 

And Finally, Superman....

OH, but wait, we didn't get that storyline. 
Sorry, no, Batman didn't realize that Superman was like a giant battery and if he was exposed to Sunlight he'd come back to life.
Hell, Superman wasn't even dead that long really, so guess it didn't matter—he wasn't Superman that long either, so, yeah I'm just so confused. :)

We do however get a kinda gross gooey return of Superman via the same way Doomsday was born, which the argument leading up to that was kinda cool. Also, it was very funny: Superman's body is removed from his grave, he's in a full suit and tie, and once resurrected...he's suddenly shirtless....yeah, go figure. 

Anyway, he comes back, acts like himself at the end of MoS (the guy from BvS is gone, thankfully) and he jumps right in and saves everyone....well, at first he kinda comes back and doesn't know who he is—Snyder orig wanted Superman to really really fight the JL for awhile and then go back to being good—so there's a brief moment where there's kindof a showdown with the JL and he kinda takes them all to task. *That was fun. I really enjoyed it.

Snyder's plot was going to involve brainwashing or w/e, something about Darkseid, but I mean, you've maybe barely gotten to know Steppenwolf, so, what's the point, right? 

But yes, after he gets his mind right (seeing Lois usually does the trick) he does jump right in and become the hero he should've never failed to be since MoS. They fight off Steppenwolf and all his Parademons ( and why did Batman have a nightmare about them in BvS having never seen or known what they were ever before he events of this movie? Yeah, exactly) and save the world and then it's all good.

The end. 

Honestly, I wanted it to be a much better story. But the gist I've given you, well, yeah, it's choppy and maybe a little random, but really not much better than the movie. And I'm not even talking about the terrible reshoot CGI Super-Lip craziness.....

For me, it's MoS, WW, JL in that order and I just don't think about the other movies and really don't think much about these cause at best, since MoS they've been, Meh. (WW a close second)

Anyway, checkout the movie if you want, hope you can redbox it instead of paying full price at the theaters. :)


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